The Ten People You’ll Meet at Sunday’s Football Party
The single biggest day of the year for getting together with friends to watch football is this Sunday and whether you'll be hanging out with a bunch of friends at somebody's house or with a group of strangers at a bar, consider this your warning. It's a fact that you're no matter where you are, you're probably going to have an encounter with at least one of these types of people.
Listen, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens during the halftime show just as much as the next person, but the reality is that the show is pretty much just one big choreographed, lip-synching show, but that doesn't matter to this person. This person cares more about whether or not there will be another JT/Janet Jackson "incident" during the halftime show than whatever crazy play just happened on the field.
Much like the halftime fanatic, the commercial addict (I'm totally guilty of being this person!) cares nothing about the actual game (because my team isn't playing this year). This is the person who'll be quiet while the game is in play, but as soon as the commercials come on, they'll come out of their shell and drone on and on about each commercial and how it makes them feel.
A lot of people place bets on the game, but this is the person who will have their eyes locked on their cell phone more than they do on the TV screen and they're either going to be really happy or really nervous. The whole entire game.
Ugh. Nobody likes a know-it-all, but that's exactly what this person is. This person thinks that because they played high school or college football that they're an expert on the sport and they'll spend the entire game dissecting every play.
This is the person who has minimal knowledge of the game. Pretty much all that they know is the name of the team quarterbacks however they pretend to have a deep interest in whatever the "expert" (see #4) has to say. This person is a faker.
This person so desperately wants to fit in. I mean, desperately. Do me a favor and give them some love. Take them under your wing and bring them into your group instead of being a jerk and mocking them.
Ah, yes. The person who lingers by the food table. Or by the grill. Or who takes the prime seat on the couch, not for the best view of the game, but because they want to be the person closest to all the snacks.
This person's favorite team stinks. No, really. Their team is awful. Like Arizona bad. However, they won't give up the argument that all their team needs is that one key player to turn everything around.
This is the person who will disagree with anything and everything the broadcasters have to say. In my opinion, the only time this person is justified is if Cris Collinsworth is speaking.
This person has no concept of personal space. This is the person who wants to touch hands. With everyone. In the form of high fives. They will literally get up out of their seat and command hand slaps from everyone, even those clearly not interested in touching hands with a stranger. Hand sanitizer, anyone?